Reasons
by magicslifer
Summary: Why does Kakashi read his porn?  In a moment of grief, Naruto and Kakashi have a talk about pain and finding hope in the world around them in a world of suffering.


AN: This just came to me last night and I punched it out in the early AM hours so I'm hoping it turned out okay. It was just something I felt the manga or anime could have touched on and never did so this is my attempt at explaining. A personal challenge to you, submit a review of PM suggesting another character flaw in the Naruto universe (Anko drinking, Gai's youth, etc) Only rule is for it to be an older character so I can infer memories to explain that flaw. Maybe there will be more of these, maybe not. It depends on how you take it. Anyway, on we go!

**Reasons**

The death of the Sandaime Hokage had been more difficult than Naruto could have imagined. Although he had always boasted to the old man that one day soon, he would take the Hokage's hat away from him, he had never expected the old man to die before that happened. JiJi had always just seemed….well untouchable. He was the professor, but he was also the first person to really acknowledge him. To treat him just like a person and not send him hateful glares and talk behind him back. When he was little, he had no clue why he was hated, just that JiJi never treated him that way and always was patient with his boundless energy. Now he was dead. It was just surreal. When Kakashi-Sensei had told him after the conclusion of his battle with Gaara, he had felt it was impossible. Kakashi had to be joking, he never acting serious. This had to just be a terrible joke. Finally though, he had admitted Kakashi was telling the truth and had barely asked his Sensei to leave the hospital room before breaking down privately.

He felt like the funeral had just ended when in reality he had been walking around the Leaf Village for hours now. It felt as if time had simply stopped with the death of the kind old grandfatherly Hokage. Stern and wise, but simultaneously loving and gentle, the very idea that such a man could be killed seemed impossible and it was only having attended the funeral that had driven the fact home to Naruto.

Sakura and Sasuke had been with him for a little bit but eventually Sasuke had gone off to train and Sakura had gone off quickly after. She had been noticeably trying to be nicer lately since she could obviously tell how much she was hurting from the loss. Still, he had refused to talk to her about it and she hadn't pushed after that. In fact, she had seemed so stunned when he cut off her offer to listen if he wanted to talk that he couldn't be sure if it was shock that he refused something she asked or anger at being cut off so rudely and having her kind offer shoved back in her face. Still, it was not like she would have understood the pain anyway. She still had all of her family and had not lost anyone close to her during the invasion and while she was as fond of the Hokage as any civilian of the Leaf Village, he was not an irreplaceable part of her life by any stretch of the imagination either.

As he walked through the village morosely, he eventually found himself at the training grounds where Team Seven had been officially formed. Running a hand over one of the wooden poles nostalgically, he could remember in detail running into the Hokage's office to boast that he was now an official Genin and how he had been the best of his teammates, only to realize too late that Kakashi was there as well, reporting to the Hokage about the results. However, Kakashi had just given him an eye-smile and let him have his excitement before leaving the office.

A cracking branch brought the blonde genin's attention back to the present however. Whipping around and, still on edge from the invasion, pulling out a Kunai knife he only relaxed when he saw Kakashi standing behind him. He was still in his black funeral attire and was reading his ever present book of porn, The Icha Icha series. Normally, Naruto found it amusing to see his Sensei reading the smutty novel but today it only made him furious. It was as if the very idea of reading such a novel on the day that Hokage JiJi's funeral had occurred was unforgiveable and disrespectful to his memory.

A roar of anger gave the blonde new life as he rushed at his Jonin sensei without care for the difference in skill level. Kakashi however didn't appear concerned in the slighted. He ducked, dodged, slipped around and maneuvered out of the range of every punch and kick Naruto threw at him without even looking up from his reading. However, when Naruto finally started to run out of energy, Kakashi relaxed and stopped moving at all.

His choice to lower his guard were bad one in this instance as he heard a roar of "Don't you dare read that shit!" and a punch to his face that knocked him back several feet.

Rising back to his feet, Kakashi dusted himself off patiently and looked at his most hyperactive knucklehead of a student carefully. Already the signs of nine-tailed fox enhanced strength that had fueled Naruto's punch were beginning to fade as his eyes returned to their standard blue hue. However, to be sure that he would remain calm, Kakashi replaced the book in his hip pouch before walking over and putting a hand on Naruto's shoulder, leading him to an open patch of ground where he guided Naruto into a sitting position before joining him on the ground, giving the blond boy a signature eye-smile before speaking:

"So why all the hostility Naruto? I might think you wanted to hurt me with actions like that."

"You were reading that stupid stuff…" Naruto did not even bother to elaborate, sitting and pouting on the ground.

Kakshi just gave him a half amused look before waiting a second as if expecting more of an explanation. When no such action occurred, he let our a sigh as if speaking was too much effort and said slowly, similar as it speaking to a young child, "Naruto, I read my books all the time. How else will I get to find out the ending if I don't read them?"

"I don't care" Kakashi was about to reprimand Naruto for his rudeness before the boy continued "The old man is dead and you're reading your stupid porn. It's not fair….Why should you get to be happy?"

Naruto's words struck much deeper than he realized with Kakashi who suddenly nodded in understanding before moving to sit right next to Naruto and putting a hand on the boy's shoulders, forcing Naruto to look him in his one visible eye.

"Naruto, the Third Hokage lived a long life, a rare and lucky thing for Shinobi. We are weapons and as such lay down our lives when it is needed. Many do not live to see beyond the age of fifty. Hiruzen Sarutobi was an amazing man for many reasons and to many people and I know he was very proud of you. However he would not want us to be sad, but to keep getting better."

"Still…he's dead, what is there to smile about?"

"Well…"Here Kakashi paused, trying to find the correct words to express his thoughts, "In a way I somewhat envy him?"

If Naruto had never thought his Sensei to be insane, Kakashi was certain he had reached that point now. Just as the blonde tried to butt in with his opinion, Kakashi covered the boy's mouth with his hand.

"Let me finish Naruto…The life of a Shinobi is never easy. It's bloody and full of hate. It's a cycle of hatred and death that never ends. To a true Shinobi, death is the escape into an eternity of peace. A world where there is no more death, no rage and hate. No more goodbyes to friends as they move on and you are forced to remain behind in this world of suffering where the cycle cannot be broken because there is too much hatred created by our work as Shinobi."

Here Kakashi knew he was getting too close to telling the story of his own past that he knew full well he was not quite ready for his team to know about in full yet. So, instead he brushed away the tear in his eyes that was threatening to spill out before pulling out his book. When Naruto began to object, Kakashi just held up his hand and looked at the cover of the novel for a few moments to try and gather his thoughts. Eventually though, he finally spoke, his voice unusually quiet and serious.

"Do you know why I read these books Naruto?"

At a shake of Naruto's head, the silver haired Jonin continued on:

"In these books, the world has a happy ending. There is love and romance and no matter what the problem is, there is always a solution because there is going to be a happily ever after. I read these books because it allows me to keep hoping that maybe, somewhere down the line, there is a happily ever after for me as well, that this world is more than just hate and pain. They offer me an escape from the world I have to live in where I have lost so much already. By growing to love these characters, I have attachments that I can no longer lose. These characters can't die or leave, they'll always be right here and, even if something bad happens in the plot, I'm not afraid because I know there will be a happily ever after somewhere in the end, no matter how long it takes them to get to that point."

To Kakashi's surprise, Naruto hadn't ignored his Sensei's words and had appeared to listen to every little bit with rapt attention that he did not know the hyperactive boy was capable of showing. After a moment though, Naruto rose to his feet, took the book from Kakashi, found the page marker and put the now opened book in the Jonin's hands.

"You have to get to that happy ending…for everyone. If they can have a happy ending then so can everyone." _' So can I'_. He added in his mind.

As he turned to leave, his heart still hurting but also feeling much lighter, he turned and gave his trademark wide smile before saying "By the way Kakashi-Sensei, wait till I tell Sasuke and Sakura that I managed to land a punch on you! Sasuke will be so jealous and Sakura will be so impressed that she'll just have to go out with me!"

As the boy took off into the trees, Kakashi could only help but chuckle.

"Some things will never change"

AN: Well that's that. I do hope you enjoyed my little experiment of doing a random one shot. Whether or not you did, I do hope you'll consider leaving a review and tell me what you thought, or if you have any other characters you enjoy that you'd like to have the vices of explored. I've read up to the most recent manga chapter and also seen every filler so I'll know any character you reference, no matter how obscure. Try me, I truly dare you. Anyway, that's it for the time being I suppose. Remember, LEAVE A REVIEW, I really am begging here. It would make my day more than you could possibly imagine. Also if you're a kingdom hearts fan, you might want to consider taking a look at my recently completed novel length story, The Last Crusade, it's the first arc of a three arc story I'm doing and I'd love to get more opinion. Until next time however, see you later!


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